Expressing Condolences in Cantonese and English – a socio-cultural approach

This study investigates what English and Cantonese speakers would say, and why, when condoling bereaved people who have recently lost someone close to them. The concept of death is said to be codified in all languages (e.g., Wierzbicka 1996; Ameka 2007). It is something inevitable in a society with mortal beings and thus forms an important part of our social experience. Drawing from data obtained from Discourse Completion Tasks, we describe the key features of what Cantonese and English speakers typically say when expressing condolences. In particular, we analyze the speech acts expressed in these condolences on the basis of Elwood’s (2004) and Williams’ (2006) classifications, which include acts such as “Offer of assistance”, “Interjection of negative emotion”, and “Expression of concerns”. Additional speech acts which are observed to be specific to Cantonese are also added to the list of categorizations, including “Speaking for the deceased” and “Inquiry of the deceased’s afterlife”. We propose that social beliefs and cultural values lie behind what people say during the condoling process; the varied beliefs about death, and expectations about how people cope with the event of death, lead to differences in the perceived role and responsibility of the condoler, and thus in what s/he should say. Based on linguistic data collected from 60 sets of DCTs, 28 from English and 32 from Cantonese, we analyzed how participants respond to contexts in which their friend has recently lost i) their uncle (whom is assumed to be unknown to the participant) and ii) their mother (whom is assumed to be known to the participant). We noticed that, in both languages, the closer the deceased is to the bereaved, the more words the condoler utters, and the more assistance s/he offers. Males, however, seem to pay more attention to this difference in closeness. While 0% of males offered assistance in the uncle’s case, 40% indicated they would offer assistance in the mother’s case. The difference among females ranges only between 14% and 28%. Participants also seemed to care more about the deceased, and to inquire about the deceased, if he or she is closer to the bereaved. Nearly 30% of the participants (in both genders) made an inquiry about the mother, but none did so regarding the uncle. Differences between the Chinese and the Western cultures also underlie what Cantonese and English speakers say. Western culture is believed to appreciate and focus more on individuals. 40% of the English participants expressed compliments regarding the bereaved mother, while only 16% of the Cantonese participants did so (participants in neither culture praised the uncle). 27% of the Cantonese participants also mentioned the afterlife of the deceased, because it is believed in the Chinese culture that death in the current life is only the beginning of the next life. Understanding the socio-cultural knowledge related to the mourning process can help us express condolences, which are guided by cultural-specific beliefs, in a more appropriate, sensitive, and adequate way